Yanik Silver
Ever heard of Charley Hill? He seemed like an average, ordinary guy.
He lived in a mid-sized town with his wife, two children, and a dog. He went to church on Sunday, coached Little League, and drove a pickup truck. He was friendly but quiet, the sort of guy you could walk by on the street without noticing.
But appearances can be deceiving. Charley Hill was one of the most successful farm equipment salesmen in the Midwest. People would travel hundreds of miles to see Charley, even when there were plenty of dealers much closer to home.
What did Charley have that other salesmen didn?t? Not a thing.
He sold the same equipment as everyone else. Carried the same parts. Provided the same service. Yet his sales were typically two or three times that of similar-sized dealers. The reason?
Charley Hill didn?t believe in ?fair? offers
Every customer went home, shaking his head, thinking that good old Charley was the most unfair salesman they had ever dealt with.
But they thought is was Charlie who was getting the raw end of the deal.
Charley didn’t cheat his customers — no, quite the opposite. He simply made offers that were so compelling, and seemed so skewed in his customers? favor, people just couldn?t say no.
What is a ?fair? offer, anyway? A reasonable price? There?s nothing wrong with that. But there?s nothing very exciting about it either.
An ?unfair? offer, on the other hand, is very exciting. It?s a deal that makes customers feel as if they’re getting far more value than what they’re paying for. It?s an arrangement that makes a purchase seem irresistible, easy, and free of risk.
How do you make an unfair offer?
First, let’s consider what an offer is. The most basic offer is simply ?Here’s something I’m selling and this is what you have to pay.? But an offer can be so much more.
Consider some of the other elements that could go into an offer, such as:
- The unit of sale (each? two for? set?)
- Optional features (personalization? e-book or hardcopy?)
- Presentation of price ($40 or $39.99? $12 a month or 40 cents a day?)
- Terms (credit card? delayed billing? installments?)
- Incentives (free gifts? discounts? contests?)
- Guarantee (money-back? buy-back? refund unused portion?)
- Trial period (30 days? 60 days? 90 days?)
- Time or quantity limit (respond before date? reply in 10 days? only 500 available?)
- Shipping and handling (extra or included?)
- Future obligations (buy 3 more in 6 months? no obligation?)
Once you have an idea of the parts that make up your offer, you can improve each one-by-one. For example, let’s say you’re selling an e-book on your blog and your price is $30. Here’s a breakdown of the possible elements of your offer:
Unit of sale: 1
Optional features: none
Presentation of price: $30
Terms: credit card payment
Incentives: none
Guarantee: none
Trial period: none
Time or quantity limit: none
Shipping and handling: none
Future obligations: none
So basically, you offer an e-book for a flat $30 and you want payment upfront. That’s it.
If you’ve built up the benefits of your book, it seems like a fair offer. But how could you turn this into an unfair offer? Let’s look at each element.
Unit of Sale
You’re selling one e-book. Okay, makes sense for most individuals. Though if your market is business or government, you could offer a lower price for a higher unit of sale, say 10 for $250. This works even better if you’re selling physical items.
Optional Features
Many people prefer books in hard copy. A hard copy also seems more valuable because it’s a physical object rather than just an electronic file. In fact, many people print e-books to make them easier to read.
So you might offer a printed version for $10 more. Perhaps the printed version could have an extra chapter or bonus features. Once you have a finished book design, hard copies can be relatively simple with print-on-demand services, such as Lulu.
Presentation of Price
You’ve done your research and found that $30 is a good price for the type of e-book you’re selling, but you could use a ?price break? to make the cost appear smaller. You can present this price as $29.99 or $29.97 or $29.95.
It costs you only a few pennies, but transforms a thirty-dollar price tag into what feels like a twenty-something price tag. For simplicity, you could even set the price at a flat $29.
Terms
There’s nothing wrong with accepting credit cards. But you could also accept PayPal. And as odd as it may seem, some people don’t like to use credit cards or Paypal and prefer to send a physical check.
I work with a political organization that sells products online and we always allow payment by check for the small percentage of people who feel more comfortable with that. It is more time-consuming, so you would have to evaluate whether it’s cost-effective for you. With many online businesses it’s not practical.
Incentives
Here’s where you can really pump up your offer. You can offer a free gift or bonus (or two or three) with each sale. This might be other e-books you already have or sections that you pull out of the main e-book. Offering a 100-page e-book with a 20-page free bonus is more attractive than offering a 120-page e-book.
You could also offer special discounts, such as $10 off for the first 4 weeks of your promotion, then raise the price later.
Guarantee
Here’s another great way to strengthen your offer. Remember that people don’t know what they’re getting until they get it. They’ve been ripped off before and have doubts any time they buy something sight unseen.
You could offer a 30-day money back guarantee to assure them that you’re honest and stand behind what you sell. Better yet, a 60-day or 90-day guarantee. It may seem counterintuitive, but the longer the guarantee, the less likely people are to return something.
Trial Period
If you’ve promoted your e-book as a ?system,? such as how to build blog traffic step-by-step, you could turn your guarantee into a risk-free trial.
Try my blog traffic-building system risk-free for 3 months. If you’re not satisfied with the results, I’ll refund your money no questions asked.
Time or Quantity Limit
Quantity limits work for physical items. ?Hurry. Quantities are limited.? Time limits work for anything. ?It’s available only for the next 19 days.? A time limit forces an immediate decision and increases sales.
If you don’t want to set a limit on your e-book, you could set a limit on a bonus. ?Order in the next week and get the bonus e-book free.?
Shipping and Handling
For an e-book, there is no shipping and handling. But if you choose to offer a hard copy or physical item, it is acceptable to add a reasonable amount to cover your shipping costs.
You could also offer free shipping as a bonus offer, which is popular for online sales. By the way, most cities have one or more ?fulfillment? businesses who will package and ship your items for a small fee.
Future Obligations
Book clubs sometimes offer special low prices on an initial purchase if you agree to make future purchases at the regular price. ?Get 3 books for 3 bucks. Order 5 more books later for our regular low price.?
I’ve not seen this offer used with e-books, since there’s a chance you could get ripped off by your customers. But for the right audience, it could work.
Okay, so let’s pretend your e-book is called ?The Magic Blog Traffic Building System.? Here is your original ?fair? offer:
Order The Magic Blog Traffic Building System for $30
A little boring, huh? Now let’s compare that to this ?unfair? offer using some of the elements above:
Try The Magic Blog Traffic Building System risk-free for 90 days. Your satisfaction is guaranteed. If your blog doesn’t explode with traffic, return the book for a full refund, no questions asked. Order in the next 30 days and pay just $19 ($29 after March 15) PLUS get 3 FREE BONUS reports: 9 Ways to Boost Blog Traffic with E-mail, Blog Design Secrets that Make Visitors Come Back, and The Lazy Blogger’s Way to Create Popular Posts.
How could you turn down an offer like that? It’s so good, it actually appears ?unfair? to the person selling you the e-book.
?How could anyone make money asking so little and giving me so much? That’s the impression you want to create. And that’s what can turn a boring ?fair? offer into an exciting ?unfair? offer.
Old Charley Hill came before the Internet and wouldn’t know a blog from a bullfrog. But he understood the idea that customers come first. When you make people feel you’re giving them more than you’re getting in return, you make sales. Lots and lots of sales.
Want learn more about putting together killer offers, and presenting them in the most compelling fashion? Subscribe to Internet Marketing for Smart People, the Copyblogger email newsletter. It?s some of our best stuff, no junk, no fluff, and no charge. Hey, that’s a great offer!
About the Author: Dean Rieck is one of America’s top freelance copywriters and publisher of the Direct Creative Blog and Pro Copy Tips, a blog that provides copywriting tips for professional copywriters.
Ten years back, my soon-to-be wife, Cindy, and I first noticed the bombarding beat for Marshall Mather?s ?My Name Is.?What an ass,? I said as the two of us sat to watch the Grammies a year later. ?It?s sad he can sell so many records just by being vile. Really, how much talent can that [.]
I’ve been seeing something happen frequently among my fellow bloggers lately, but it’s most obvious to me when I receive offers to guest post on my blog.Someone pitches me a great idea. Brilliant, in fact. An idea that interests me and one I feel will interest my readers as well. So I say yes. [.]
This is another addition to our ongoing series of tutorials and case studies on landing pages that work.
Is it hot in here or just me? 
Diana Daffner and her husband want to help people find a renewed sense of joy and connection in their intimate relationships through tantra. Their business, IntimacyRetreats.com, offers couples retreats throughout the year, but realizing not everyone can attend a retreat, they also want to promote their books and media products.
The URL referenced above is actually the “/shop page” off their main site. Diana would like to use the page as an independent landing page, as well. So let’s take a look and see what we can do to warm up product sales for this tantra-loving business couple.
- The Goal: Increase sales of all products. (Some current sales may be being diverted to their Amazon listing.)
- The Problem: Good traffic flow, email list of several thousand prospects, less than 2% actually buy.
- The Current Landing Page:http://TantricSexforBusy Couples.com
- Value: $45.00 for the set:
Click image for larger view
The Maven’s 10-Point Critique
#1 — Treat this page as a standalone from the get-go.
If you want this page to be able to do its job properly, you need to think of it as a discrete entity — not just as an extension of your retreat offerings. It has to have all the usual landing page elements: a strong, emotionally-resonant headline, benefit-rich copy, attractive images, sweeteners like testimonials and purchase guarantees — and a clear call to action.
#2 — If you want to sell tantric-sex info products, your banner and messaging have to speak to tantric sex and not intimacy retreats.
You have too many taglines in the banner. I do like, however, “Transform your relationship into a love affair” and would highlight it, perhaps moving it into a pre-head position. I suggest you make the banner a little shorter to allow for more copy below. And yes, you have to say “Tantric Sex for Busy Couples” upfront. I like the product image and might use it in the banner rather than the one you’re using now.
#3 — Copy needs to reflect the original mindset of the visitor.
If visitors are coming to your home page looking for “couples workshop” then they’re not thinking DIY tantra at home. They may decide after they arrive that a workshop isn’t what they want right now and may look at other information, but it wasn’t top of mind originally.
Therefore your landing page copy has to acknowledge that in some way and position the products as a “If you can’t come to us, we’ll come to you” alternative.
#4 — If you want to sell information products, think about testing a pay-per-click campaign.
As noted above, your organic search visitors are knocking at your door looking for workshops. I’d strongly suggest testing a pay-per-click campaign based on the relevant keywords and phrases folks might use to find tantric sex info products for couples. Although I’d probably recommend testing different landing pages per male and female campaigns, one solid landing page that hits all the core points would be a good place to start.
#5 — Articulate the “big idea” behind your product offerings.
Tantra is a sort of “out there” practice to many people. Maybe they’ve heard about the supposed multi-hour tantric sessions between Sting and his wife, Trudy Styler, or that it requires lots of strange, uncomfortable positions — and what’s up with all the breathing and staring?
So what’s the big idea behind your tantric-sex info products? Probably something like this:
Tantric sex isn’t weird — it’s as easy as gazing into each other’s eyes and breathing. Everyone can do it, no matter how old or out of shape. Every relationship — from newlyweds to couples celebrating their golden anniversaries — can benefit from it. And we’re going to show you how to use it to regain your passion for your partner.
That’s the conceptual “big idea” umbrella under which all your specific products reside.
#6 - Consider the different personas — the different needs — of your visitors when crafting your copy.
My guess is your main site gets roughly three kinds of visitors:
- Happy couples who view a retreat as a special gift or vacation for themselves;
- Relatively happy couples who want to spice up their sexual relationship; and
- Unhappy couples who are looking for a way of fixing things.
Your product buyers are coming from groups #2 and #3, especially #3. Since pain relief is more of a motivator for action than pleasure-seeking, my guess is that most of these visitors are coming from the “fix” mindset. Men want to fix the sex and women want to fix the relationship, and maybe tantra is a solution to their mutual problem. (Thinking broadly, of course, because that’s what I do. Pun intended.)
Your headline/intro copy needs to promote your products as a smart, thoughtful, and effective first-step to solving intimacy issues. Copy needs to highlight ?pain points? that both men and women would relate to and resonate with through their respective desire/gender lenses.
#7 — Ratchet up the sense of urgency.
Why does your prospective customer need this now? What is happening (or not) in their lives that they’re brought to searching for information to help them connect more passionately, genuinely with each other — and why get it from you?
Your intro and individual sales copy has to stay on point that what you’re offering will help relieve, solve, heal and help couples reconnect with each other. Make sure all copy is written in the ‘you’, the second person, to underscore your connection with the prospective buyer.
Click image for larger view
#8 — Trim the product copy to its scannable essence. Don’t use links to send visitors to other pages.
Your bulleted copy is good, it’s the paragraphs that are wordy and a little too “woo-woo,” especially for those whose relationships might be a little shaky and who might be unsure about tantra in general. Speak to your visitors in clear, clean prose that instills hope and confidence that you have what they need.
#9 — Redesign the page from the ground up.
Actually, I’d strongly suggest redesigning your entire site from the ground up. It looks amateurish and when it comes to folks spending, especially when every dollar counts, a polished and professional look will serve all your interests well.
Regarding the landing page, all the same good advice I generally offer applies here, too.
Get rid of all unnecessary distractions. If using a content management system for your site platform, then think about creating a static landing page that incorporates all the best practices. I’d suggest a two-column format — left wide, right narrow. Use the right column for testimonials, order details, and satisfaction guarantees, etc. The wider column handles the big marketing load. Use Verdana or Georgia for your font, black as your main font color, and use color for accent only. Clean up your product images. Make sure your images/content elements are balanced for a pleasing appearance.
You want to get the bulk of the key content in the first screen. Push your product shots left and add order buttons to the right with pricing and sale info. (You want a call to action in every screen.) Do get rid of the awful red highlighting. Also, for the main product and the CD, put the audio player either under the cover image or above the order button. Provide a meaningful caption to encourage folks to click and listen.
#10 ? Use pop-up windows to provide additional information and still keep visitors on the page.
Right now you have “learn-more” links for each product that take them off the page to another longer product page. I don’t think this does you any more good than the shorter, more concise copy you have here. So if you want to add more info without making the copy longer, use the link to a pop-up window with whatever you think will aid the visitor’s ability to say yes to tantra and to a purchase.
I’d also think about using an exit pop-up to offer a sweetener — free shipping, perhaps — or to ask them for their name and email address in exchange for a free chapter, free music, or some other taste of your products. I’d create a second prospect list of potential product buyers (as opposed to just adding these names to your current list) and market accordingly.
My thanks to Diana Daffner for her patience and support of Heifer International. Look for my next makeover in approximately 4 weeks.
Want to get a future Copywriting Maven landing page makeover?
Got a landing page that?s more poop than pop? Willing to share with Copyblogger readers? Prepared to put a little of your own ?skin in the game? for a Maven Makeover? Then follow your click to Maven?s Landing Page Makeover page for all the details.
I’m booked for gratis “Heifer” critiques until 01/16/2010. If you’re interested in a private critique/makeover or other services, please email me directly.
About the Author: Roberta Rosenberg is The Copywriting Maven at MGP Direct, Inc. Find her @CopywriterMaven on Twitter.
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